PERFECT IS OVERRATED

I grew up believing every time someone said, "oh she's such a perfectionist," was a compliment of the highest order. I was so proud to wear it as a badge of honor. Somewhere along the way, it started to feel stifling, suffocating. It would cause me to quit projects because if I couldn't do them perfectly, on my own, it meant I wasn't good enough. (You can hear the hurt child in my words.) Was it always really just an attempt for approval?

“Perfectionism is a dream killer, because it’s just fear disguised as trying to do your best. ” -Mastin Kipp

Years ago, I had a visit with my young niece that I still think about today. She was visiting from out of town and we only saw each other every few years based on distance. We were talking and she said, matter of factly, "I used to not like you, but now that I see that you're not perfect... I REALLY like you!" I thought it was boldly funny, that in her childlike manner she could say what she really thought without fear of how I might take it. In her mind, she meant it as a compliment, not realizing she was admitting she didn't like me for a while.

But her words lingered, stirring in my heart and mind all these years.

We each sit stifled in our own version of fear of how people perceive us. We make decisions based on what "they" will think. But what if it's our imperfection that draws people in?

Social Media has been criticized for only showcasing someone's perfectly curated highlight reel~ but if we're all honest, who wants either side of the alternative? Do you want everyone looking at your jumbled everyday life, silently (or sometimes not so silently) judging you over every detail? And the other side, do you want to watch someone's chaotic household of noisy children all day? No. We're curious but we don't want too much of the messiness of other people's lives.

However, 2020 showed us that consumers care about what's going on inside the brand. People prefer glass box marketing over black box marketing. Gone are the days of simply creating a great product and selling out, without people worrying about the company's values. We want to see through the box to what's going on inside. We're tired of being sold to & want to connect with real humans.

So what if we gave ourselves some grace, to stop worrying so much about what other people might think, and show what we want to show, how we want to show it? We don't have to make videos cause someone said it's the most effective way to grow your audience. We don't have to post daily or a certain time of day cause the algorithm likes that. And we certainly don't have to wait to post until things are perfect to get a curated feed. Turns out, people connect more to imperfect people than perfect ones. Because there are no perfect people- so if all you're seeing is a beautiful feed, then you know that they're only showing you one aspect of their life. You can enjoy it for what it is and drop your fear that you don't measure up.

Curious note: Have you ever met a perfectionist that is that way with every area of their life? No, me neither.

“Perfectionism is not self-improvement. Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval. Most perfectionists grew up being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule following, people pleasing, appearance, sports).” -Brené Brown

I can tell you that mine lies in my designs. For a while I struggled with showing behind the scenes before a project was complete, because it didn't encompass yet, the vision of where it was headed. But I get the most engagement on the process of my creative work. People love watching me draw or turn a drawing into a vector or a design into a mug.

Awareness is half the battle. Learn about yourself & why you do or don't do things. Learn what things your audience will connect with. People want to find a connection. Whether in person or online, your favorite people reflect some aspect of you, including & sometimes especially, the imperfect parts.

Warmest regards,