One of my favorite books of all time is Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. It truly was transformative for me- and I don't say that lightly. He explains wrestling with his faith but also why our stories are so powerful. People need to connect to your purpose, take a walk around in your shoes, and understand your why. Side note: I still quote him to this day, "all sin is selfishness," as I've yet to find an example when it's not true. Link to book here.
Just as a camera can capture a moment in time, your story can reflect
your history and your future.
Brene Brown talks about the story we tell ourselves. She uses examples of how she tells herself a story about how her husband must be angry with her or something along those lines. She explains that usually her anxiety grows the longer the story in her head gets to play itself out. She has learned to just say, "the story I'm telling myself is...." and try to work out the truth versus the story growing or lingering in her imagination. Don't we tend to assume the worst a lot of the time?
If you walk this out further though, you'll see that a lot of your memories, childhood or otherwise, have been skewed by the story you told yourself in that moment. It explains how siblings can have varying recollections of the same memory. We each see something from our vantage point, but also from our emotional capacity at the time as well. But since that is true and our stories define us, then I want to rewrite some of mine. It's okay to retell your stories and shine a light on the brighter spots because we've been focusing on the darkness a bit too long. reread that if needed. I did.
For example, can something be both good and bad at the same time? You could have gone on an amazing ski trip and broken your toe on the first day and not been able to ski. (yes, really happened to me.) What you focus on determines the course of the story. You can focus on the missed opportunity or you can focus on all of the laughter with friends.
“It's like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.” -Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind
If our stories make us who we are, then I want to tell better stories, especially to myself. I'm learning to take a look at old thoughts, memories, angers, and even people with new eyes. This has helped me forgive and empathize where needed to help heal old wounds. Some of those stories ended up in my latest collection.
I have this story about a chrysanthemum that has sat in the wrong space a little too long. I'm going to retell it and give it it's own place on the blog soon.
Warmest regards,
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