PERSPECTIVE

I'm not usually one to add disclaimers to my posts, but I felt this week might warrant one. I typically have several weeks of posts written in advance, but life shifted my to do list these last couple of weeks so I'm writing this on Sunday before it releases on Monday so I won't have time to go back and edit if needed before it's released. The reason I even feel the need to tell you is because I lost my dad this week and I know it is coloring my perspective.

I had many emotion-filled conversations this week that left me feeling drained. Each new person offered their advice based on what they thought my dad really wanted. While I was in the thick of it, none of it made sense.

I offered to create a video compilation for his service and asked everyone to send photos, stories, & historical details. As they started coming in, I realized that no one person knew everything. I would hear about his travels from his cousin. I heard about his favorite books from a couple people. I heard about his favorite music from a couple people. I heard about his routines from another.

My sister wrote a post about him on her facebook page and sent it to me. I read the post and sat silent for a while and then replied, "you knew a different man than I did."

In all honesty, I've started and abandoned three separate blog posts, not knowing what I should share and what I should hold back. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to write about business when I'm still swallowed by grief. But I woke this morning with a little clarity, hoping it would be enough to get me through.

We base everything from our individual perspectives. We see things from our worldview, our life experiences, and the knowledge & emotions we have in the moment. Only after standing back and seeing each person's story did I start to see my dad as a whole instead of from my limited vantage point. None of us know the complete version of anyone, even those closest to us. We can't know what they're picturing when they make a decision the way they do or what memory they hold dear. I thought I knew who my dad was, but it took his death for me to learn that I didn't.

“There are no facts, only interpretations.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

Once we start to see that we color every interaction with our own interpretation, it helps us see things from other perspectives and only then can we truly grow and mature into more evolved versions of ourselves. Maybe there isn't some grand business lesson to share this week, but I know for me, this point hits every area of my life, including my work.

Side note about grief:

“Death is so terribly final, while life is full of possibilities.” -George R.R. Martin

One of the strange things that happens when you lose a parent is that you become so keenly aware of all that you don't know. I can no longer call him up and ask him for a family recipe or to remind me of a date or a location or a memory. He can't give me advice or hear about my life. There's one less person in the world that loves me. I live in a new place, one that doesn't hold my dad in it. I get it now why memoirs are such a lovely thing. I would give anything to have his stories, his perspective, his insights. I hope he knows that he lives on through my memories and that I would've treasured knowing about his childhood because it helped shape mine.

With so much love and gratitude that you're here,

P.S. I found this Bible verse comforting this week, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30