LET GO.

I've been going through some health challenges the last few years. Well, that's probably putting it too mildly. I ended up in the emergency room last night with a scary POTS flare. I don't usually go into specifics on here, because honestly, I'm a private person and this is a business blog. But as I was sitting in the hospital last night, it hit me that this was a rather rude yet needed reminder for me that I need to focus on the important things and let some things go.

I talked just last week to my email subscribers about how I see things repeated and believe it's God nudging me to pay attention. This morning (within a one hour time span), I saw the words "Let go" repeated by not one, not two, not three, but four separate sources. okay, I'm listening. . .

This is me, sitting at The Loch in Rocky Mountain National Park years ago. Mentally, I'm here.

I teach systems and tools to combat this very thing. the overwhelm. How did I let it creep up on me? Well the answer is right there in the question. It's the creep. You say yes to something you really don't have time for, but you want to be helpful. An opportunity comes up that man would be so disappointing to miss because you don't know if or when it will come up again. You have a laid-back business running smoothly in the background, and you decide to create a membership. ouch.

I remember the day in that photo clearly. It was a long hike to get there and yet the view made the journey worth it. I sat to soak it all in. The people with me were ready to hike back down...they came, saw the view- check, done, ready to go home. But I sat there by myself, away from everyone else. Water has always had a calming effect on me. I do my best meditations there- it's the only time I can truly clear my mind of all thoughts. I don't remember any thoughts sitting at that lake, but I remember how I felt. And it's how I'm longing to feel now. a long sigh.

I think if I'm being honest with myself, I knew this was coming. I could feel the symptoms increasing and I brushed them off as anxiety from being busy. But I could tell I was getting worse again. My heart is still physically struggling with basic tasks today, even sitting here I have a lot of chest pain. Creativity has been such a blessing though while enduring real medical things. I can get out of my head about appointments and symptoms and treatments and missed plans. I can draw or paint or tinker on a pattern or design while I'm stuck taking it easy, for my heart's sake.

And today, once I hit publish on this post, I'm going back to my roots. I will sit and reflect on what's working and what's not, what's a priority and what can be dropped, and I will just sit and be. Likely outside with a soft breeze, maybe with a notepad and pencil in case I need it. But I need to give myself space. To not be perfect. To not always be "on." To remind me of how wonderful things can be when you have a passive business that doesn't always need you.

I've been telling myself that this busy-ness is a season. As soon as I finish more of the lessons or hire the marketing assistant, things will go back to bliss. But my body reminded me that my peace is non-negotiable. And I need to find the joy in the journey now while I'm still on the journey. So today I will let go of my to-do list and my email replies and my work. And I'll see what else I'm holding on to that I need to let go of, because I know that "let go" whisper I've been hearing isn't just about work.

Sorry if this was less business-y and that's what you come to read. But honestly, this was the most me my blog has felt in a while and I miss that. Prepare for more like this. Cause I can feel that my soul needs to lead for a while.

Warmest regards,

P.S. Yes, I am okay. I have more tests coming in the next few weeks. But slow is my preferred pace anyway, so I'm just going to lean into that. :)