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BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

I've talked to a lot of entrepreneurs this past year and I frequently hear the typical imposter syndrome type comments. But also comments about not knowing their worth, not sure how to express what drives them, other people's comments from long ago that still linger in their ear, fear of what other people may think- the list goes on and on. Something I heard from someone this week though made me so sad for how she thinks of herself, and I knew I had to talk about how to change some negative thought patterns. More than anything else, you need to believe in yourself.

Our thoughts have the potential to propel us forward or to hold us back. One of the first things you can do is start paying attention to the dialogue running in your head. I bet you don't even realize all of the subtle negativity going on. Try to catch those thoughts in the moment and immediately reframe them, so your brain starts recognizing positive stuff first.


“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” -Willie Nelson

Let's talk about some of the ways we tend to hold ourselves back.


The first thing is that people tend to polarize things. In their mind, a situation is either good or bad, with no middle ground. They focus on only one aspect. Yet rarely is something only all good or all bad, there's usually at least some mediocre mixed in too. This also applies to how people overuse the words always or never. This is one of my biggest pet peeves. Just ask my husband. :) There is almost never a situation where something always happens! See what I did there. But it's true. Don't limit yourself out of the gate by using always or never. Just because something bad happened doesn't mean there wasn't good in the situation as well. And just because something frequently happens doesn't mean it will always happen.


This goes right in with assuming the worst. Your life experiences taught you limitations. When you were a kid, you wanted to try everything and you assumed you'd be amazing. Just think about how many kids believe they are secretly superheroes and princesses. One of the best things about telling yourself a new story is that if life took away opportunities by showing you harsh truths that left you unwilling to experiment, it can also give possibilities back to you by simply dreaming and trying out new things. Instead of believing the worst possible outcome, have hope that things are going to work out and then find joy in the process so that even if it doesn't work like you pictured, you still loved the journey.


The next part that I think we all struggle with is personalizing things too much. If something goes wrong, you assume it's because of you. You're not good enough, talented enough, smart enough, whatever. But most of the time, whatever IT is, is not about you or me. Everyone is focused on themselves. It's a part of human nature. If what you're doing improves your potential customer's life in any way, then they will engage & be a part of what you're doing. But even if they don't engage with you, at this time, it's mostly about them and where they are in their lives rather than anything about you. It just may not be the right time or the right circumstances for them, for now. Pair this with the one from above~ just because you didn't make the sale now doesn't equal that you will never make the sale. So don't let a no dissuade you from what you're doing.


Lastly, I know this one will resonate because we all do it. We use off-balanced filtering. We magnify negative things and filter out positive ones. You've heard it said that it takes 100 positive comments to balance out ONE negative one. Why is that? Because we have an off-balanced filtering system. What if you let each comment stand on its own & be more about the person that said it? Because guess what, it's usually not about you. It's about their experience. They write reviews based on their expectations and their interaction with a product. Note to self: Maybe I should write a post on how to write a proper product review.


You've likely heard the phrase, hurt people hurt people. I think sometimes, as small business owners, we forget that people are all going through their own stuff. Then they interact with others at just the wrong time or just the wrong circumstances and whoever is on the receiving end gets the brunt of it. It's not right that it happens, but we've all been there and would happily take back an interaction that didn't shine the best light on us. So I try my best to separate myself from the situation and recognize that there must be something making them that unhappy and I wish them well on their path somewhere else. :)


I had intended for this post to go into some of the personal ways I have taken this advice and applied it to specific situations. But I can't always control where things end up so I'll save that for another post.


The gist:

We get to choose our attitudes and how things affect us. We can choose to find joy in every situation. What you focus on grows. So don't let it be the negative stuff. Let it be happiness, joy, hope, love, inspiration, creativity, & possibility. Give people and situations the benefit of the doubt and let things happily surprise you.



“There is good in everything, if only we look for it.” — Laura Ingalls Wilder

When my son was little, I bought a sign for his wall that says, "Attitude is everything. Pick a good one." And all these years later, it's still sound advice.


Warmest regards,





P.S. I don't usually write in a lecture-y tone yet when I do, it is ALWAYS out of love. :)


P.S.S. You can join my email list here if you want to follow along on my journey of running a passive product business in a simplified way.





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